So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
