Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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