I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
