I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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