My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
We need to get me chipped asap
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
