new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My legs feel like baby dolphins
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Randomize
