you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
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