Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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