There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
