He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
