The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
