so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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