nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
