My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Randomize
