I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
