I faked an abortion last night.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
