Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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