a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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