I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
