Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
