if only i could text you this smell
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
