Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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