We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
there was a trapeze. enough said
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
