Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
