I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
