If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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