fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
