well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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