Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
How external is "for external use only"?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
