i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
