The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
