He asked to "fluff my boner.."
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
