On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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