I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
