There is no way he is gay with that hair.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
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