I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
