im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
