Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
