It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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