Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
