I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
