Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
