Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
