Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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