That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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