shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
