What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
