It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
