i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
