idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Randomize
