i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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