i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
No stitches, just platelets and will power
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
